Evenings
I stare into the ceiling
Until I see cracks where there weren’t
And beyond my eyes
Back into myself
The hollowness of a night spent
The endless night one has
Until it all starts
Again
I hover between death and now
barely slipping between the cracks
i was here
and then i wasn’t
Why does a bird stand alone on the roof
Does it hear the sound of the sea
And when it couldn’t find the breeze
Where the city engulfs as it does with its tall buildings and metal cages
Does it stand alone waiting
Or does it stand resting in its inner peace
False as they seem
But certain that the crumbs of the day
Will provide enough nourishment
Seeds as they may be
A bird does not stand alone on the roof
It is just a fragment of your truth
1
The way we made this world once we came in
We could’ve made it work
If we weren’t too broke
Too selfish
Too scared
Too much too little
Could we have made it work
If I was anything but?
And if I was everything else,
would you have spend more time with me?
I will not take the easy way
Even if that’s the way it is
The light that shines in the false brick road
I see it
But I will not heed
To the person I was
Rough, then shiny, back at it again
I was difficult
Only to myself
The road ahead is paved for me
Yet I will not take it
I’m a piece of shit like this
Instead I’m back
Into darkness
Empty
Vast
It seems that way
Sometimes that’s just how it is
I will not take the road as planned
That’s just my fuckery
Weatherly
When it was cold
And I felt it too
I thought it was the winter’s wind
the barren snow
that created a space within
(a space is a place for something/someone to fill)
All given can be taken away
The gods are fair and just
and when you tip the earth
They tip back
I wish I knew
The heart of the tree was full
Spring came and left,
Summer arrived with gusto;
Yet the space remains
empty
((.))
Failing the first step
i gave a shit
about the ending and beginning of what seems like
a great idea
if you were to ask me
why the fuck is the sea blue
and the sky bluer
i would ask you
why did you not tell me about last night
when your dreams
were spreading
i can handle your mischief
your sudden mystery
your lack of enthusiam to my succubus self absorbed cunt
but your wings?
we were meant to fly
side by side
through sky bluer than your eyes
where tears fell more than the sea could hold
i knew i lost the night i first met you
dark alley
the cold whisper of the wind
telling me i have gone down the pathway before
yet you were there
and the night was warm as ever
fuck
The beginning
i draw my strength
from the pits of sorrow
bottomless as it seems
i test the waters
one leg in
another in the honey pot
we have all the time in this world now to learn the pits of ourselves
whole bodies intertwined like the parasitic vines around the dying oak tree
i rest my soul into the ground
bury it with my fingers
dried up
brittle
and then
more
Insomniac
A night is a long road ahead
Where you need to be holding yourself accountable
For the rest of your life
In bed
I rest my eyes
And stare
Into the darkness ahead
Sometimes I pick up strangers instead
I could be sleeping tonight
Actually closing my eyes
But I’m on the road again
No end in sight
Don’t make me your destination
Stance
A stance is a standing position on a something
tall as you can
vertical from the ground up
you cannot run away
or hover over the matter
you must stay, as your ancestors before you stayed unyielding
on a something that’s everything but nothing
You have to be still, and not a peep,
Not a whimper, nor a sob,
When they come pushing, tugging and screaming
tall as you can,
tall as you may,
A stance you stand
It’s a private war.
Obviously Grace 